Men are from Venus, Women are from Mars (At Least When their Husbands are Being Insulted)

So I was reading Joseph Ellis's Founding Brothers, a book about America's founding fathers, and came across a section which reminded me of something C.S. Lewis said about the difference between husbands and wives. The first excerpt is from Founding Brothers, and deals with John and Abigail Adams. The second is from our old buddy Clive. Quite humorous, in my opinion. (By the way, in regard to the title of the post, Mars was the Greek god of war.)

“Although we will never know for sure, there is considerable evidence that Abigail played a decisive role in persuading Adams to support passage of those four pieces of legislation known collectively as the Alien and Sedition Acts. These infamous statutes, unquestionably the biggest blunder of his presidency, were designed to deport or disenfranchise foreign-born residents, mostly Frenchmen, who were disposed to support the Republican Party, and to make it a crime to publish ‘any false, scandalous, and malicious writing or writings against eh government of the United States. Adams went to his grave claiming that these laws never enjoyed his support…and that he had signed them grudgingly and reluctantly.

All this was true enough, but sign them he did, despite his own reservations and against the advice of moderate Federalists like John Marshall. (Even Hamilton, who eventually went along, too, was at best lukewarm and fearful of the precedent set by the Sedition Act). Abigail, on the other hand, felt no compunctions…Her love for her husband, and her protective sense of as chief guardian of his presidency, pushed her beyond any doubts…

Ultimately, of course, Adams himself must bear the responsibility for signing into law the blatantly partisan legislation that has subsequently haunted his historic reputation. But if, as he forever insisted, the Alien and Sedition Acts never enjoyed his enthusiastic support, Abigail’s unequivocal endorsement of the legislation almost surely tilted the decision toward the affirmative. To put it somewhat differently, if she had been opposed, it is difficult to imagine Adams taking the action he did. It is the one instance in when the commingling of their convictions and the very intimacy of their partnership led him astray.”

Joseph J. Ellis, Founding Brothers

“The relations of the family to the outer world—what might be called its foreign policy—must depend, in the last resort, upon the man, because he always ought to be, and usually is, much more just to the outsiders. A woman is primarily fighting for her own children and husband against the rest of the world. Naturally, and in a sense, rightly, their claims override, for her, all other claims. She is the special trustee of their interests. The function of the husband is to see that this natural preference of hers is not given its head. He has the last word in order to protect other people from the intense family patriotism of his wife.  If anyone doubts this, let me ask a simple question. If your dog has bitten the child next door, or if your child has hurt the dog next door, which would you sooner have to deal with, the master of that house or the mistress? Or, if you are a married woman, let me ask you this question. Much as you admire your husband, would you not say that his chief failing is his tendency not to stick up for his rights and yours against the neighbours as vigorously as you would like? A bit of an Appeaser?”

--C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Joseph Ellis

C.S. Lewis